Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
