I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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