So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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