it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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