My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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