Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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