maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
