I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Someone signed my nipple.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
