dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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