I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
