Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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