I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
