Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
