Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
