I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
