the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
