I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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