PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
