i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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