Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
