Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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