The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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