I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize