He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
