Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
