Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
