sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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