I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
