So drunk its hurt
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize