the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize