saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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