Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
