If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
