I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
