We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
