oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
