She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize