He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
