I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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