you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Damn victory sex feels great
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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