is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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