I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
how does that bad decision feel?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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