do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"