at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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