i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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