My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
