I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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