For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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