Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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