8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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