Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
