I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
