Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
