its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
