i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
