Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
