I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
