Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
