Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
