2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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