I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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